How can you go from 30+ years of monogamy, to wanting polyamory?

Article by -Tbone-

How can I go from 30+ years of being vanilla, to suddenly being a heavy masochist?

I don’t know if I can answer those questions in a way that would make sense to anyone. I can tell you some of the things I have discovered…

We evolve.

We grow. Our views and experiences give us more information on which to make decisions.

We question social norms.

We come to realize that our wants, needs and desires do not have to be accepted by society. We are free to do as we wish, without judgement…and shame is something we put upon ourselves when we use society “norms” as a measurement device. Monogamy is a choice…and so is polyamory. We make that choice, not society.

We discover mortality.

We are all dying. The more time spent on this earth, the more you are exposed to death. Your loved ones die, your friends die and the news is flooded with more death and destruction. I often wonder…did they have regrets…the dying? Did they wish they would have done more…experienced more? When I die, do I want all the things I didn’t do, to flash before my eyes? Fuck… I want it all…I want to feel everything and experience everything. I want to leave this world the same way I came into it…screaming and covered in blood.

We realize that happiness comes from within.

You decide what makes you happy. No one can do that for you. People and things don’t make you happy. YOU make you happy. I want all the happiness I can stand. I want to be whistling zippidy-do-da out my ass.

We empower ourselves to choose.

Once you own your choices and realize that it’s up to you to choose what makes you happy and that you are only limited by your imagination…then you have opened yourself up to endless opportunities. You deserve to be happy. I deserve to have my cake…and eat it to.

We make a decision to choose JOY.

Make the choice to do things because they bring you joy. Don’t do things because you think someone else wants you to or because you want to please someone else. Do it because it makes you happy. There is no limits to happiness. No one has died from being too happy. There are so many little things that we ignore in our daily lives…things that we choose to view as a blessing or a curse. Make the choice to feel good.

We realize that connections enrich our lives.

Every time you truly connect with someone, you bring something more to your life. People need to connect with other people. Our brains thrive on new challenges. Why not try and connect with more people? Enrich your life and others? Everyone has a unique outlook, based on their experiences. Try to imagine how they can change your perception by understanding someone else’s view.

We stop letting fear rule our lives.

We fear rejection and abandonment…we fear love and pain. We don’t realize that without those things, we wouldn’t know acceptance and loyalty…joy and happiness. If we had nothing to compare to, our lives would be boring. You need contrast, to appreciate the people that enrich your life.

Be grateful.

Appreciate the people and things in your life. Be grateful for little things and celebrate your accomplishments. Open yourself up to new experiences. Tell people what you love about them.

Healthy people attract healthy people.

If you aren’t healthy, how can you have a healthy relationship? Take care of yourself and you will find out that you will gravitate towards healthy people and they will recognize that in you. If your life is unstable, fix it. Believing that a relationship will fix your problems, only dooms that relationship. Healthy people make healthy choices…and you can learn from their experiences.

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