If someone apologizes, did the consent violation really occur? by -Tbone-

I believe there are a lot of consent violations happening that never get reported.

Maybe people are confused as to what should and should not be reported.
Maybe people are unsure to whom they should report to.
Or maybe people are afraid of the backlash.

The reasons people have are all valid, and everyone has a choice.

But when you make the choice to NOT report something, you could be allowing a predator to roam free.

If someone does something without consent or in direct violation of consent, you should report it to someone.

No exceptions.

Even if they apologize. Even if they are well known in the community. Even if it’s the first time.

No exceptions.

When you don’t report, that person may continue to the next person, without anyone knowing it has become a pattern of behavior. Without the information, they can hide past behavior. This is information that is valuable to event hosts and “leaders” because they try to keep their guests safe and free to enjoy their time at events.

If you don’t report it, then an opportunity to give instructions and possibly corrections, is lost.

People think they are giving appropriate feedback to another person when a consent violation occurs, but more often than not, they are using a communication style that is not clear to everyone and they don’t get confirmation that the message delivered was understood.

A “fuck-off” look directed at someone that touches you without your consent, may tell the them that you are angry, but it doesn’t tell them that they should never touch ANYONE without their consent.

Everyone makes mistakes. And you may think they are sincerely sorry and won’t ever do it again. It’s still OKAY to tell the event host that something happened. Chances are, you don’t really know the individual, so how do you know if they are genuine or not.

You can choose to simply deal with your own issues.

Or you can help build a safer place for EVERYONE.

Tell the event host (preferably at the time the violation occurs).
File a report on MIReports.
Tell a trusted friend.
Get the information to someone that will stand up and take a stand against consent violations!

A consent violation happens…telling someone does not condemn anyone.

It simply gives people more information so they can help keep YOU and EVERYONE ELSE…safe.

Article written by – Tbone

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